


How Do You Just Walk Away

by Anothernarrie



Category: One Direction (Band), Shawn Mendes - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Liam Payne - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, Niall Horan - Freeform, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shiall, Teddy Geiger - Freeform, Unrequited Love, friendship fluff, hendes, shawn mendes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-11-01 21:56:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20519846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anothernarrie/pseuds/Anothernarrie
Summary: "You made it seem like we connectedI guess I just didn´t expect this       ""You said that you were staying overbut then I woke up to the cold air    "inspired by Shawn Mendes' Song "Where Were You In The Morning"





	How Do You Just Walk Away

It must be the sunlight shining through his window on his face that wakes him up the next morning.  
Shawn smiles, still with his eyes closed, and presses back to the heat of the other body behind him. Just that there is no heat. And no other body.  
Confused, Shawn slowly sits up and blinks his eyes open.

He finally confessed his feelings to Niall last night. They went out with a few mates of the both of them and in a quiet moment, Shawn decided to finally approach him. Well, it was less him deciding and more his drunk-self talking. He has been a shaking nervous mess the whole night, but it´s not like that´s something new. Shawn has always been like that around Niall but after he told him that he “might love him a little”, Niall didn´t laugh it off like a joke, like he feared, Niall told him that he really likes him as well (Even if he didn´t talk about love, like Shawn did, Shawn was over the moon) and that was how they ended up at Shawn’s place, a sweaty mess of intertwined bodies in the heat of the moment. Even though he can´t really remember the way he told him that he is into him, it seemed like everything was fantastic.

They cuddled a bit afterwards and made out lazily until Shawn put his head on Niall´s chest and listened to his steady heartbeat till he fell asleep. Shortly before he gave in to his tiredness he felt that Niall wrapped his warm arms around him in a warm embrace.

But he isn´t here now. The air of a cold spring day hits him, and he shudders. Slight panic overcomes Shawn as he puts his hand on the spot where Niall laid last night. Cold. Shawn feels like he is going to be sick.

Slowly he gets off his bed and puts on the first sweatpants and jumper he can find. He looks in the kitchen. The bathroom. The living room. Every room. But there is no trace of Niall. It´s like he hasn´t been here at all.  
It breaks Shawn’s heart.

Shawn´s head feels like it´s swimming. Confusion. Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. Sadness. Love.  
The panic is over floating him now and his eyes begin to fill with tears.

Why would Niall just leave like that? Didn´t this mean anything to him?  
Just last night Shawn confessed his feelings for Niall, and now he did the single worst thing he could have done.

He left.

Maybe Shawn pressured him into going home with him and saying the words that he did. But that´s not possible, Niall never lied to him. Until now.  
Shawn turns his head and looks in his own reflection. 

His face is pail and his eyes look tired and are filled with tears. He lets his eyes drift over his face and then trails his eyes down to his neck. His breath hitches and he puts his hand in front of his mouth. He can make out dark marks on his neck and pulls his hoodie over his head. Even more marks made from Niall the night before are adorning his body. The tears already started leaking and a sob escapes him. This can not be happening. Everything seemed so real. So genuine. And he knows that he didn´t imagine the moon like shaped marks from his fingernails he left the night before.

° °

Hours later after Shawn finally calmed down enough to stop crying he sends Niall one single text.

“Where Were You In The Morning?”  
Niall never replies.

° °

The next time Shawn sees him is at a party that some girl from his psychology class hosts at her house. He looks as good as ever talking to a teammate of his while nursing at least his third cup of beer. Shawn doesn´t want to, but he just can´t seem to look away from Niall.  
Every time he tries to, it never is for long till his eyes find their way back to the man who broke his heart. He may still be a bit bitter but who is anyone to tell him that he shouldn´t be when it happened not even two months ago. 

He has been trying to avoid Niall at all cost, because he knew that he could not handle to be approached by him. He even made a list of places he wouldn´t visit for the next few weeks, it might seem childish but Shawn really would not have handled it in a good way.

Niall was wearing a white shirt with rolled up sleeves, black skinny jeans and white Adidas shoes. On the bridge of his nose are sitting round golden glasses that shine when the light hits them just right.

Honestly who can blame Shawn for falling in love with this guy?

He didn´t even want to attend the party in the first place but is friend Teddy insisted because “This cute Emily girl from my biology class is going to be there”. When Shawn then asks her why he needs to be there for that she just slaps his arm and throws a dirty glance in his direction.

So, this is how he ends up in some house, which is packed to the brim with tipsy to full on drunks who keep on pouring more liquor down their throats.  
And this is also how he ends up talking to some guy with brown hair styled to a quiff who is called Nick and who is also calling himself “the most talented Jonas Bro, man”.

All right.

But honestly this is all Teddy´s fault because if she wouldn´t have dragged him here and left him five minutes after their arrival he surely wouldn´t have seen Niall when he got himself a drink, scratch that, he absolutely wouldn´t have seen him at all.

No chance.

And as if that wouldn´t have been bad enough already, this Nick guy had to plaster himself all over Shawn, who´s too much of a nice and polite Canadian to tell him to piss of, and tell him that he is so great and that his brothers had nothing on him.

Sibling complex much?

Seriously he could not have imagined a better way to spend a Friday night.

Even though he is still mad and heartbroken, he keeps on throwing glances in Niall´s direction because he can´t seem to help himself.  
It´s just really unfair, Shawn has been mourning for two months and then there is Niall who looks just as unbothered as if a bag of rice just fell over in China. Shawn always knew that Niall was that happy-go-lucky guy, but it was just ridiculous how Niall closed his eyes and threw his head to the back of his neck when he laughed really loud and hard. He looks so beautiful with his mouth stretched to a wide smile and his eyes crinkled. 

Honestly, Shawn was fucked.

And his long veiny neck is not exactly doing Shawn any favours.

Suddenly Niall calms down and starts to look around the house, till his eyes finally settle on Shawn. At first, he looks surprised but then he catches himself again, turns back to his teammates and tells them something, just to tear away from the group and head right in Shawn´s direction.

Oh fuck no.

“.. You see that´s because I´ve been working out so much, would you like to touch my abs sweetie? What´s your name again?”  
What the heck is going on, maybe Shawn should have paid more attention to what Nick has been talking about the whole time.

“Ehh, sorry Nick I think it´s time for me to go you know I got classes in the morning…”

“Wait, but tomorrow is Saturday!” 

But Shawn already turned away and started to make his way to the front door.  
Wow, Shawn can´t even think of a reasonable excuse to leave this situation and just totally embarrassed himself in front of this guy.

Well it´s not like he was planning on talking to him again ,so.

It seems like Niall was still walking in his direction, because seconds later,  
“Hey Shawn! Wait!”.

Not today Satan.

He was seconds away from the front door when someone had to be in his way, and of course this person had to be Louis. Niall´s best friend. Fantastic.

“Hey man, how ya doin’? Haven’t seen ya in a while dude! You and Neil seemed to be inseparable, like you are literally glued together. Haven’t seen you around him so much lately.” Louis smiled cheerfully like he was truly happy to see Shawn, like he didn’t know what Niall did to him. Because he probably didn’t. Grinning so widely Louis just looked like the Cheshire cat, he sure as hell is as mischievous.

The thing about Louis Tomlinson is that he works really hard to keep up his “I don’t give a fuck about the consequences” persona to the outside world, even though his true self isn’t nearly as put together as he would like it to be.

Niall told Shawn once that after Louis Mother died, he worked after school to keep his siblings happy and feed, he got away with it for a few months till his grandmother found out and payed for all of their costs. Louis didn´t want it at first because he never had a good and stable relationship with his grandparents, but his grandma loves his sisters and since he also wants the best for them he -is not happy- but alright with them taking financially care of them.

“I´m good thanks. How have you been? How are the twins doing? You know what, we should meet up soon. I´ve got to leave sorry.”

One afternoon a few months back Niall called Shawn in a haze, because Louis needed some one to watch his baby twin siblings and since Niall can barely handle Theo alone at times, he had called Shawn up to ask for help. 

Shawn and the twins bonded immediately, but it might have something to do with the ice cream cones in his hand when he got into Louis´ and Niall´s shared flat. And that he let them stay up 20 minutes longer than their curfew would allow them to. Shawn really hopes that Lottie is never going to find out, she got this face that she does every time someone allowed Doris and Ernest something, she didn´t. She squints her eyes at you and sucks in her lower lip. It´s really unsettling and Shawn just hopes he will never be on the receiving end of this look. 

Even before Shawn could take a step back from Louis and his confused face, a hand reaches out to grab his wrist.

“Hey Shawn, are you going already? I´ve been calling you for a while.”

Shawn closes his eyes. Of course, it got to be him. Of course, he can´t get away from him. Seems like today IS the day, Satan.

“Shawn was just about to leave, why don´t you stay here with us man”

It wasn’t a question, Shawn knows that.

“I´m just really tired you know, and it´s at least a 20 minutes’ walk to my dorm, so I better head back now.”

“Oh, come on man, just stay for one more beer. Niall can even bring you home.” 

Louis looks quite excited about his idea and steps away to get the promised beer cans for the three of them.

“So, how have you been? Haven´t seen you for the last few weeks. Have you been avoiding me?”

Yes.

“No, I have just been busy. You know, University.”

Right.

“Ehm, okay.” Niall looks still unconvinced but stars smiling non the less.

“So, what have you been up to Shawny?”

A shiver runs down his spine and he get´s a sour taste when he hears this familiar nickname roll of Niall´s tongue. Suddenly, he thinks, the beer Louis is going to make him drink is going to be a bad idea

It would feel like a normal conversation that he is having with Niall if that night two months ago didn´t happen. He would still be pining after Niall and they would probably still be hanging out every other day. Everything would have been like it should be. 

“Just went to see my mom and sister for spring break came back three nights ago, other than that the usual.”

He doesn´t dare ask Niall how he has been, to afraid of how he is going to tell him how great his life has been without Shawn , how he doesn´t give a damn about the night they have spent together.

“That´s great, “ Niall smiles but before he can say anything else Louis stumbles back with three beer cans and a tray with six shots filled with clear liquid on it.  
He is honestly is fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
this is the first story I ever uploaded anywhere and showed more people than just my friends.  
Please bear with me and let me know what you think about it.  
Chapters won´t be uploaded regularly, because I´m going to graduate in spring of 2020 and I got to work hard to keep my grades up.  
I have an employment test tomorrow and I´m dying because I´m so anxious, aaah.


End file.
